Afraid To Be Part Of The LGBT Community

June 15, 2011
Female (Age 24)

Q: Over the past few years I’ve been slowly accepting my truth and in turn found the courage to tell my immediate family and close friends that I’m a lesbian. My parents are both pastors and I’ve willingly made God a large part of my life. The more open I’ve been with my family the less barriers I’ve been able to claim in regards to being a part of the LGBT community, I think in this process I’ve become aware of some homophobia I may have. I’m afraid to be a part of the LGBT community because I’ve believed it to look a certain way and be a certain way my whole life. I guess I realize my judgements, my generalized judgements and I don’t want to start this way, with projected judgements towards other people, I’m just wondering if you have any suggestions on how I could get over my preconceived ideas?

A:Dear Getting Over Ideas,

You are a very insightful individual.  It is very honest of you to admit that you have preconceived ideas about things and people before you even enter the game, so I think you have already mastered the task.  Knowing that you have these ideas puts you in the position of realizing that they are just ideas and not truths.  Getting to know people, individual people, is where truth lies. And it will be different for each person.  Like snowflakes.  Make that your task to find something unique about each person you meet.  If you are focusing on finding something unique and special about each person you meet, that will steer you away from labelling and stereotyping.  This is a fun and exciting way to make new friends. Go enjoy this new freedom to find glory in each unique and special person.  Create a journal and try to never duplicate a trait.  Sometimes life and the people we meet are just fun and fascinating beings.  Enjoy this journey.