Category Archives for Still Hiding

I am suffering a crushing depression not being myself

Added May 12, 2011 I am a 33 yr old woman, who thought something was wrong with her. I have never been a person who dated I have only ever been with 3 men, but I didn’t enjoy the experiences, so I made the decision either consciously or unconsciously to focus on my career. But […]

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This is Bible Belt! Nobody’s gonna want a gay teacher.

Added May 5, 2011 At times I wonder if I’ve stepped back into the closet in the five years I’ve been a high school teacher in a rural Missouri town.  As a young adult I came out to my parents, close family, and friends and was out at work.  While I was incredibly anxious about […]

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The family doesn’t want “the gays” around them

Added May 12, 2011 When I was nine, my mom asked me if I knew what gay meant. I said no because I had never heard of it. She said “It’s when two boys or two girls love each other. Your brother is gay.” I didn’t understand at first because I didn’t know that was […]

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Plan was to make myself straight and rid myself of depression.

Added May 12, 2011 I’ve known I was different ever since I can remember. I always felt like an outcast and like I was the polar opposite of normal. When I was little I didn’t really know why I was different, I just knew I was. As I got into middle school, I realized that […]

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I had no idea that I liked girls. I really had no idea.

Added March 26, 2011 I’m about the most emotionally oblivious person on the planet. So when I say I had no idea that I liked girls until I was 22, I don’t mean I was in denial; I mean I had no idea. I never went through the boy-crazy stage as a teenager but I […]

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I haven’t found anyone LIKE ME

Added March 26, 2011 I started to realize I was different when I was 10yrs old. I did like some boys growing up; I even got engaged to a guy once. I thought getting married at 23 was the right thing to do, even though I knew I wasn’t in love with him. I came […]

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There was no one around that I could relate to, no one “like me”

It’s hard for me to write this out, only because I never have before. I’ve known who I was attracted to for as long as I can remember. After falling in love with my 1st grade teacher…at the time I didn’t know what it was and I just figured everyone else felt the same way […]

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My husband has no idea I am attracted to a woman

I hesitate to share because I have no answers…but I suppose I am not alone in that. I am beginning to realize that I am not straight. What that means and where it takes me is yet to be seen. I am a married 40ish woman. I am very attracted to an unattainable woman who […]

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I worry that my children will not understand

For most of my 43 years, I have been acutely aware of the fact that I am a lesbian. However, like many of us, I have done everything to hide that from the world. In fact, to the “world” I am a successful, happily married Christian woman and a mother of 3 beautiful ‘young adults’. […]

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I know that I’m at the beginning of an important process

I always felt different and misunderstood while growing up. I was a good daughter and an ideal student who tried her best to hide her attraction to other girls. It was a source of embarrassment and shame that I locked away deep inside of myself and hoped that no one noticed. My sexuality caught up […]

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