Not Being Me Is Hurting My Health

May 30 , 2011 – Age: 44

Q: How does one learn to accept themselves? I’ve known I was gay all my life and I came out to my family at the age of 37. I have been in therapy for 15 years and suffer from depression, anxiety and severe anger issues and my health has gone out the window. I take 5 different meds and it still doesn’t take away the fear, angry and anxiety, I know the meds aren’t going to solve my problem, the only thing that will would be to accept myself for who and what I am, I’m just so afraid all the time of everything, please help!

A: First let me congratulate you on not giving up; good for you.  There is an answer.  And your right medication alone will not fix anything.  They will help, as will therapy, but that too is not enough.  The bottom line is… total unconditional self love is the answer you are looking for.  Loving yourself is the only solution to solving depression, anxiety, panic, anger, fear, pretty much what ever hurts us.  If you can learn to love yourself unconditionally and accept that these emotions are somehow keeping you alive and protecting you and not harming you, then you can accept them in a loving way and use them to enhance your life and your understanding of what is going on with your emotional world.

Start doing daily affirmations like, I am loveable. I am beautiful. I am special.  And every day do an act of self-love which would be something that can only make you feel good.  That means it doesn’t make you feel bad if you don’t do it.

Treat yourself with kindness. For instance, understand that fear is an important emotion, is there to protect us from danger.  Find out what you think is endangering you.  When you are experiencing an emotion ask yourself, how this feeling is benefiting me.  Everything we do and feel benefits us.  Find out and then see if you really need that emotion to get that benefit?  This is a great chance for you to dig deep and explore yourself.  And remember always; put the mask on yourself first!