1 Topic by sabina hawk

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Topic: Catholic and Lesbian

Hello to all. God Bless!!
I'm trying very hard to maintain my faith and living my truth. It is extremely difficult at times. My family is very split over this (i am middle of 7). We were brought up stanch Catholic. My dad is a Eucharistic minister, so is my mom. My brothers were servers, my sisters were lecturers--i got out of it because I was painfully shy and would die (i thought) if I had to read in front of the congregation. --I'm a little more vocal now ;P

I have been in a solid relationship for almost 9 yrs now. I've had a few other relationships, only one other that I've lived with someone, and I have been out to my family for about 15 years. For the most part my siblings were supportive, however the last 4 years or so, it seems that 2 of them have more issues about my lifestyle than they did before. This is very confusing to me as I would think they'd be more understanding due to my long term committment.

My parents are starting to come around more, but then I hear from my sister that they still think i'm going to Hell, they just are trying to lover the sinner hate the sin. I'm so tired of this fight, that i don't know what to do about it. I keep hearing its against God's plan and against Catholism, however in the same breath they expect me to regularly attend mass and take my kids. If I leave the church, it is their belief that I will go to hell too. "There's nothing worse than a fallen away Catholic." Being Christian in my family isn't good enough.....Catholicism is the "chosen" religion.

I loved being Catholic--I love the music, the tradition, the prayers, the discipline, but I hate the judgemental tendancies of the religion. Whatever happened to being Christian, loving thy neighbor, obeying the 10 commandments and letting God be the only judge of people??  I truly believe they need to clean up their own inner house before the Pope/bishops/priests/congregation should even attempt to worry about others.

I'm trying to hang on by joining Catholics for Equality, I'm just struggling with reconciling my truth with my faith....I guess its comparable (sortof) to Chely reconciling Country music and her truth.

Its just taking a very sad and emotional toll on me and I don't know how to resolve. Would welcome commentary. --thanks.

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2 Reply by Dana B

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Re: Catholic and Lesbian

I also grew up Catholic.  It is difficult to move away from a church that is such a big part of your life, regardless of how unaccepting it is.

If you haven't already done so, I strongly recommend reading the books by John J. McNeill.  Those books literally saved my life.  They helped me reconcile my faith with the reality of my life, and they helped me recognize that I could be both gay and Catholic.

You should also recognize that the body of the church, the people in the pews, are far more accepting of gays and lesbians than most conservative congregations.  I'm certain that groups like Catholics for Equality will help bring that to light, and will go a long way in chaning the Church.  But also recognize that change in the Catholic Church is never quick. 

I also understand about your family.  My parents are very traditional Catholics.  And while they like my wife, as my friend, they will never accept her as my wife.  They love me and I know that will never end,  but their beliefs simply will not allow them to accept the two of us as being married.  I've come to realize that I cannot change them anymore than they can change me.  So I just need to keep loving them, and living my life the way I know God intended.

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3 Reply by tom m

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Re: Catholic and Lesbian

sometimes if you are one way or another it might be good to those women out there to find a good tracher,listner and go from there.

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4 Reply by tom m

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Re: Catholic and Lesbian

ok lets put it this way,i know catholic faith and this may sound harsh but the 10 commandments are the law,if you miss mass on sun and if you die and are not in a state of grace its a mortal sin to miss mass, you end up in haytes,pergatory if we make it there were in! just alot of purification to get to see gods face,any quest e me.

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5 Reply by Daydreamer60

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Re: Catholic and Lesbian

I believe that God knows our hearts and no matter we are the apples of God's eye.  I hope that at this time of year we can reflect on the reality of Jesus:

Micah 5:2 (NIV)

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah,
   though you are small among the clans of Judah,
out of you will come for me
   one who will be ruler over Israel,
whose origins are from of old,
   from ancient times.”

Luke 2:11-12 (NKJV)

“For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”


WHEN GOD SENT HIS VERY BEST

From snow capped peaks
To island beaches
And destinations in-between
It is Christmas Day
It is Christmas Day
It is the season of joy for every girl and every boy
It is a time for holly and ivy and trimming the tree
It is that time to remember the old, old story
When God sent His very best
The angels proclaimed
In Bethlehem in the land of Judea
A Savior was born
The King of Glories lay safe and warm in a lowly stable
The angels told shepherds about the Christ’s holy birth
Wise men followed a glorious star to come worship God’s only begotten Son
They brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh
But the Christ Child was the greatest gift of all
He brought about a better way and through Him authored Eternal Life
From snow capped peaks
To island beaches
And destinations in-between
It is Christmas Day
It is Christmas Day
It is the season of joy for every girl and every boy
It is a time for holly and ivy and trimming the tree
It is that time to remember the old, old story
When God sent His very best


Blessings,

Scott aka Daydreamer60

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6 Reply by theatregypsy

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Re: Catholic and Lesbian

What helps me is knowing that not all Catholics, just like not all Christians period, believe everything in the general Catholic doctrine. There's a parish near me that has extremely liberal priests and openly supports and welcomes gay people to their parish. I don't go there often, but when I do, I get nothing but support. All it takes is a little research and you can usually find a priest or a church near you. Go - enjoy your religion in an environment that wants you there as bad as you want to be there.

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7 Reply by Sasha

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Re: Catholic and Lesbian

I am so glad to have this discussion about my faith.I am a practicing catholic and active in my church. I love Christ and all he has done for me. It does bother me that most religions feel that homosexuality is a ticket to hell. I have been with my partner for 27 years.We were married by a minister of another faith last year.We are not out except to a few people. I wish we could have been married in my church but I know that will not happen. I also find it troublesome that a lot of gay people reject christianity because of this. I don't like the anti christian insults that are thrown around in our community.I know there are a lot of christians that insult us also,but I cannot blame God for this.I NEED him in my life. I know God loves me and answers my prayers, but those little doubts about homosexuality being a sin thrown out by some churches makes me think.Does anyone else struggle with this.I just like to hear other gay christians opinions on this.So glad for this website!

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