Q: what do i do?
I have known that I was gay ever since the 5th grade. I was grown up in a christian family and my mother and my siblings are openly against gay people. In fact she told my siblings and i that if we ever dated people of the same gender she’d throw us out. I believe in God, and i help out at church a lot because i feel ashamed because of who i am. Now I have a crush on an amazing girl and she likes me but she is out in the open and im stuck in the closet. I dont know what in the world to do, and Im starting to lose weight because im stressing out so much. I have never had a real boyfriend and mom is now throwing guys in my face but i dont like them, and i always find a reason why i dont like them. We are becoming more and more distant and i dont want that for us, so what do i do??
A:
Dear In the Closet,
Go to a doctor NOW. Losing weight as a young girl is very dangerous and can lead to serious health issues. This will also give you an opportunity to have a private conversation with a professional that can help you manage your stress and come up with a plan to talk with your Mom. If the Doctor you see is one that you feel comfortable with and have know for a while I strongly suggest that you explain truthfully what is going on and ask for their help in coming out to your mother. They should be well suited to educate and help your family understand your sexual orientation. You could also get information from PFLAG which provides guidance and education for families for lesbians and gays. Perhaps your school has resources about therapy and groups for teens coming out. Although you you are frightened and worried about how your family may handle your coming out, they are your family and often what people say is not necessarily what they do. If your church has someone that you feel like you could also talk to get their help in telling your family.
Once this is addressed you have an exciting time in front of you, a crush. What a fun, wonderful feeling. Try to enjoy the feeling. You don’t even have to do anything or tell anyone. Its just a special feeling that you have and you can enjoy it. Be brave.
