The LIKE ME® Organization

The most recent part of my story began when I heard of the Reutger’s student committing suicide as well as the other most recently publicized deaths of gay kids. I, up until now have taught for about 25 yrs closeted. Last week I made a shortlist of teachers I would come out to because I made a decision to face my fear of being fired and told them all that I’m gay. Ten to be exact. I’m exhausted emotionally, but feel a new since of freedom. My main purpose in coming out at work is that I am positioned to help kids who are struggling with their sexuality. Kids need to know that WE are everywhere and that they are not alone. I want gay kids at my school to know that they have a gay ally in me. Since I don’t present as a lesbian people do not think I am gay. Everyone that I came out to over the last two days have been so kind and gracious to me that I wonder what I was so afraid of. Times are changing and will continue to change as long as we do not remain silent. So my next list is coming. I have two names on Phase II of my coming out. There are 73 teachers in my high school so I have a ways to go. Even though the word will spread, I want to take the time to tell every single teacher I work with personally that I am gay. 25 yrs is a very long time to keep silent, hide, and exile yourself from your fellows at work.

Where did my story begin? I knew very early on that I was different and it began when I developed a crush on Sally Field’s in the Flying Nun; I was in kindergarten. Next was Olivia Newton- John at age 12 to present. Coming from a very conservative fundamentalist Baptist background started the beginning of my feeling something was wrong with me. And I didn’t know of any other girls or boys who were like me. So I began to fear myself and hate me at the same time. It led me down a dark path.

Depression plagued me. Trust eluded me. I had no one. Then I fell in love with my 22 yr old gym teacher, Ms. B. She told me that my feelings were not natural and that she was disappointed in me. So of course at 16 I thought I was a freak who was headed straight for the pits of hell.

I go to college and end up walking on a basketball team full of lesbians, afraid that they thought I was a lesbian. Still thinking I’m a freak and not acting on my sexuality, running straight to a good looking guy that I liked because he was sensitive, I marry him my junior year of college and have two sons by him. By the age of 23 I have acted on my homosexuality and the marriage is over.

I came out to my family. Everyone with exception to my dad was supportive. I was a daddy’s girl so imagine the rejection I felt. This estrangement went on for a decade; however, I did not close the door on my dad. I joke now that it took Dick Cheney having a gay daughter for me to get back in his good graces. We have a very loving relationship today and my dad is full of regret for his alienation towards me.

I raised my son’s having two significant partners to help me over the years. They went with me to every gay pride in OKC until they left home. I just turned 49 yesterday and am a very young grandma. A lesbian grandma.

So my life has been lived on two very different levels since I was 23.In my private life I have lived openly as a lesbian, but closeted at school. Fear of some institution being able to take away what I love doing simply because I am gay has immobilized me up to now, but I turned a new page when I constructed my shortlist last week and saw it to fruition today.

Something happens when you come out. You find strength in what you perceived to be your ultimate undoing. Now I am so ready to move onto the next phase, which is to get a gay/straight alliance started up at my school. You see, I strategically picked my shortlist. I knew who would be my allies. Just in those ten conversations, I have two teachers who have said they want to be a part of the alliance and will be there with me in any capacity in this journey.

I am so excited and look forward to what comes next. Oh, and who knows, I may get fired. I will not say that again because I like to keep negative thoughts out of my head, but I will face whatever comes with my head held high.